Playing with Rats
Suggestive Games1
Suggestive Games2
Good Stress
Travel With Rats
Literature
Folk Stories and Fun Viruses
After 43 years of non-wedded, perhaps pretended bliss,
Barbie and Ken split up.
Who gets custody of Skipper you may ask? You didn't really think Skipper
was Barbie's sister, did you? That was just a lie they told the world
so that Barbie could continue with her various careers which have included
secretary, rock star, fashion designer and much, much more.
Barbie also keeps the Dream House, the pink Volkswagen, the Jeep and the
Cadillac. She said, "I was the superstar in this relationship. He
just rode my expensive coattails. I made the money. He's lucky I kept
him around this long. He had no genitalia for crissakes."
Barbie is rumored to be dating Ben Affleck. She is considering a name
change to Barbie Lo.
Ken, on the other hand, has been seen out and about at industry parties
cozying up to GI Joe, the real American hero.
Neither Ken nor GI Joe have any comment at this time.
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you
are getting.
The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
much for the AT&T virus.
Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're
not exactly sure what it does.
Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50%
to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich
ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's
affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.
Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.
Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Dan Quayle virus: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes
without joining into a binary network.
David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white.
Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs,
only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural
America.
Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to
be the most important part of the computer.
Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin
of error).
George Bush virus: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until
November.
Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software
says everything is fine.
Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.
Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!
Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering
its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your
car.
New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
really mad just thinking about it.
Nike virus: Just Does It!
Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder.
Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and
then slowly expands back to 200MB.
Pat Buchanan virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your
screen.
Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by
C:.
Paul Tsongas virus: Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa
Claus."
PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but
instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".
Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus",
you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.
Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how
old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see
a counselor about possible alternatives.
Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just before
the whole thing quits.
Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.
Ted Turner virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
Terry Randle virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose
"Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.
Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each
half blaming other side for the state of the system.
Warren Commission virus: Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
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